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Perhaps something more amazing than writing about my life, thoughts, feelings, etc. is telling someone about them. I want more than ever to have someone I can tell anything to, yet thus far, I’ve only come close to finding someone.

Patience wears thin on occasions, but I still believe there’s hope for me yet. I’ve been more motivated now than before to continue talking to random people, but this time perhaps instead of seeing people as mere acquaintances, to actually commit to friendships. Also, with the friendships I’ve already created since attending college, I’d like to deepen them. Even though maintaining friendships is hard as I’ve mentioned before, and I’m still uncertain how much I should trust people, there was a time in my early childhood when I wasn’t afraid of making mistakes and causing drama and conflicts among different friendships.

Imagination. Something I’m a bit rusty on as of now, but my creative mind was merely napping–or so I’d like to think. I am brought back once more to a time when I believed anything ordinary can be made extraordinary if I’d only think about it in a different perspective. That part of me has never left, yet at times when academia, my social life, and physical health are below my expectations, the extraordinary can be faint and hard to find.

I had a dream–possibly a year ago–that I was in a dimly lit room with three doors. I chose one door, and stepped inside. The floor to that room was quite a ways below the ground level outside that door, yet I was able to float across that land as if I were lighter than air. The atmosphere overall was jungle-like/ swamp-like and mysterious. Mrs. P, my band director was there, sitting in a boat. She asked me to come join her. Somehow, I knew this place as Neverland, but Peter Pan was nowhere to be found. That was all I remember of that dream, but somehow I felt a connection between that dream to Enchanted Palace Rescue and The Race. It could just be the waterfall and the mysterious atmosphere, but I’ve had other dreams with the same quality of mystery and adventure I felt in early childhood.

I’ve stopped recording dreams since school started, but a part of me still wants to continue. Even if dreams are hard to recall, and even harder to recount accurately, even just taking the time and effort to record them should be worthwhile. I’m not sure why dreams are significant to me, or perhaps they aren’t significant at all, but sometimes I like recalling dreams and relating them to future events for the fun of it.

I had a dream three years ago, a most disturbing dream, that I thought foreshadowed a certain school tragedy. I thought it was just a dream at the time of its recording, but each time I look back on the tragic event two years ago that occurred almost exactly one year after the dream, I can’t help but feel as though that dream had a connection with the actual event.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ve written yet another self-reflexive entry, with fragments going on tangents loosely connected. Yet I really do enjoy writing such entries, especially when they turn out optimistic such as this one after having written five different rough drafts that came out pessimistic XD.

Oh yeah, and Happy Valentine’s Day!