Wandering
The wind, the clouds, the sun… A beauty so great, it might as well be invented by my desolate mind. What is the difference between a breath, and a dream? I could just be dreaming, dreaming a reality, floating on the thin surface of my sea of desires…Alucinor, -ari. To wander in mind, dream, talk idly.
Once more, I am drenched in this nagging need for creation. I never seem satisfied, which is alright in some cases, since it drives me to pour out my best; yet other times I know I must be crazy - psychologically impaired - unnecessarily pessimistic - sitting hours upon heavy hours knowing I should probably just rest my mind. There’s so much art out there - so much amazingly captivating art that at times I feel intimidated - overwhelmed. I should probably stop with the excessive use of dashes. There really is a purpose to this entry despite the unpromising title.
Sometimes I have the hardest time being lazy. I busy myself with too many tasks on my mind, but at the end of a day, I realize I haven’t accomplished much of anything. Today, and every other day of winter break seems to have the same routine. Hours pass like minutes, and all the days blend together. I still managed to create some fond memories, and finally having my web site fully functional is a great accomplishment. I probably just need a break from web designing, and spend more time with my friends.
All my life I’ve been wandering physically and mentally. I guess I haven’t been living too long. Only about one fourth of my life is expended. One fourth of the candle has melted, but the flame is still vibrantly visible. I keep thinking of Macbeth’s monologue - or was it a soliloque (”Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…”)? Such a sad tragic comedy is Macbeth.
I meant to write a dreamy, warm and cheerful entry. Wandering really isn’t a focused topic I guess. Maybe I meant to focus more on fairy tales. Speaking of fairy tales, one of my friends has written a beautiful rendition of Beauty and the Beast. Her story is so creatively written full of vividly believable emotions, each character so well developed, and her ability to incorporate her own personality and other parts of her life into the story is amazing. All this she’s written the complete novel of over 50,000 words in one month (November).
I doubt I’ll have time to write a novel in a year let a lone a month. Procrastination has its cunning ways with me. But I do aim to write a story however long, and write it to completion rather than leave it in fragments. Even with all this wandering, the sum of all the fragments or at least parts of fragments of ideas should come together somehow. I do love weaving and creating. Fear of the lack of originality is my only concern. Promises are hard to keep, but I’d like to make a promise to finish writing one story by the end of this year.
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LOL, through this entry I can tell you are very serious about writing. And your friend is well…Let’s just say I am one big failure when it comes to fiction (I never write more than a chapter before I give up).
I can’t give any advice~ But you are definitely better than me ; I don’t even have anything to write about now. No ideas, no originality…
*sigh*
It’s great that you are very serious about writing. I can tell that you can be an excellent author in the future. I swear, I will buy and read all your books.
In Singapore, it’s hard to become a writer. Writers don’t really have much of a chance to succeed in Singapore because our country is so focussed on science and technology that most people sort of ignore writing.
I’m sure you have tons of originality, maybe you just need a small head start or inspiration? I find watching the sunrise very inspiring and usually, words flow out of my brain so much easier after that.
Cheers, I hope you finish your story!
And um, how can you step on glass and not get hurt? Oh my, for me it was pretty painful at first. I guess I have a lower threshold for pain than you.
Once my 1st sister went rock climbing in Indonesia and her head knocked into a rock. But she didn’t feel any pain at all and was laughing at her stupidity. So maybe it’s the same for you? : )
All I’ll say is to keep searching. After all, only one fourth of the candle has burned. You still have the majority of your life to live, considering that you don’t die young of course (just a pun).
A soliloquy is a monologue in which the speaker is alone one the stage, right? So there really isn’t a difference.
Shakespeare knew so much about humankind in general, it’s amazing. What’s more amazing is that his generalizations are true to this day. Perhaps you’re wandering, like Macbeth. Just make sure that you don’t choose the same path he did.
Was your friend involved in National Novel Writing Month? I admire those who manage to complete that task.
I really admire your passion for writing. I like that you can be very expressive. I really love reading your posts!
to “wonder as you wander”? sometimes i’ve wondered, why is it i wander. is it out of habit, or to escape a reality i cannot accept, or is it out of fear that i will be hurt if i stop, or perhaps i always feel the pastures are greener on the other side of the mountain. i’m sure our reasons are all very different, but imho to wander is to leave a trail of unfinished tasks, to leave each fantasy after tasting it.
good luck with your literary aspirations. your internet integrity is at stake. though “but I’d like to make a promise to finish writing one story by the end of this year” has all the firmness of a sony warranty :P. ganbate!